Scenario:Skull - A Genius's Best Friend

A Genius's Best Friend

The crew discovers that Skull has secretly been keeping his beloved North Husky, Skull Jr., in his Grandcypher quarters since coming aboard. (Captain) and the others join genius and dog for a morning stroll down memory lane and learn just how much master and pet resemble one another.

---

Early one morning, (Captain) and the others step out on deck to enjoy some fresh air. They find Skull playing with a dog they've never seen before.

Vyrn: Yooo! Skull! Where're you headed so early?

Skull: Whoa! When did you cloud-jockeys get here!

North Husky: Awoo!

Lyria: Aww! Where'd this puppy come from?

Skull: Uh... yeah. Sorry for keepin' it quiet. This is my best bud, Skull Jr.

Skull: Y'see... I brought 'im along when I first joined the crew. He's been stowin' away in my quarters ever since.

Skull Jr.: Awoo!

The canine in question has been trotting in restless circles as they speak. He chomps the hem of Skull's shirt and tugs impatiently.

Skull: Hey, slow your roll, Jr.! These are my best duds, an' you're puttin' fangmarks in 'em!

Vyrn: Sigh... Being a doggy daddy's no easy job, huh?

Skull: You got eyes, dontcha? Not just anyone can do doggy duty!

Skull: I gotta feed 'im, an' brush 'im, and take 'im for a walk every day...

Skull: But being needed is one of the great things about having dogs!

Skull: Oh! You guys free? You are, aren't you?

Skull: Why don't you join us for our walk? You can see what a kickass canine Skull Jr. is!

Lyria: Ooh, can we? Yay! I can't wait!

Skull: Hear that, Skull Jr.? Time to strut your stuff for (Captain) and the gang!

Skull Jr.: Awoooh!

The crew brings Skull Jr. to a nearby field for his walk.

Skull: Here, Skull Jr.! See the stick? Gooo fetch! Hyahaaa!

Skull hurls a stick with all his might, and Skull Jr. tears after it.

Skull Jr.: Awoo!

He leaps and snatches the stick out of the air before it has a chance to touch down.

Lyria: Wooow! That was amazing! What a leap!

Skull: Hehe, right? Riiight? No denying it, this is one clever canine!

Skull: But if this has you reelin', we've got somethin' else that'll knock you into next week!

Skull: Here we go... Don't blink now...

Skull: Blam!

Skull Jr.: Awooh...

Vyrn: H-hey! Is he okay? He just keeled over!

Skull: Hyaha! Cool, huh? This is his ultimate technique...

Skull: Playing dead!

Skull Jr.: Awooh!

Vyrn: Oh, geez. So he was just faking? Don't scare me like that!

Skull: Hehe. Quite the talent, huh? But when we first started out, he was a real handful! Couldn't even shake on command!

Lyria: Really? How did you two become such good friends then?

Skull: You wanna know? Are ya dyin' with curiosity? Well shoot, if you're gonna hound me like that, I guess I can tell ya...

Skull: It all started back when I was still raisin' hell with the Odajumoki...

The Odajumoki raise hunting dogs called North Huskies. Among the pack is a dog they call the Odd Mutt Out.

The dog's training is progressing so slowly that all but one of the Odajumoki have given up on him.

Skull: Right, here we go! Go get it, boy!

Odd Mutt Out: Awoo!

The dog takes off after the stick Skull threw. He's so excited that he doesn't see the tree rearing up in front of him... and slams right into it.

The impact shakes loose the snow piled on the tree's branches, burying the dog.

Odd Mutt Out: Awoooh...

The canine's head pops out of the snowdrift, ears drooping in dismay. The nearby Odajumoki burst into gales of laughter.

Odajumoki 1: Gyeeheeheehee! Lookit his stupid face! You can barely call that dopey mutt a North Husky!

Odajumoki 2: Well, look who's training 'im! They're just a pair of hollow skulls!

Skull: Who you callin' a hollow skull! You festering heel-blisters just wait! We'll show you!

Odd Mutt Out: Awooh...

Skull: Hehe, don't you worry, pup. I can tell you're a genius bound for greatness, just like me!

Skull: So get ready to study some killer tricks! You're gonna knock all those losers tail over teakettle!

Odd Mutt Out: Awoo!

Skull: Hyahaaa! That's the stuff! C'mon, boy! You ready to take another run at it?

Odd Mutt Out: Awoo-woo!

And so a boy and his best friend throw themselves into their training.

Sadly, however, as the days turn to months, the Odd Mutt Out remains unable to retain a single trick.

Traveler: Hey, you miscreant! How dare you injure my beloved kitty!

One day, the Odajumoki pick a fight with a traveler.

But when Skull accidentally steps on his cat's tail, the traveler's temper turns the tables.

The other Odajumoki beat a hasty retreat, leaving Skull and his dog on their own to elude the incensed traveler.

Skull: Damn it! Where do those gizzard-gobblers get off leaving us in the lurch!

Skull: Whoargh!

Traveler: Haha! Pitiful! Now put up yer dukes!

???: Awooh!

Traveler: Huh?

The dog charges at the traveler's leg in hopes of tripping him up, but misses his mark and goes sailing straight past him.

Skull: Hey, we don't have time for this! On your paws and get over here! This is our chance to get gone!

As the man stands dumbfounded at this combination of canine and companion incompetence, Skull and his trainee make their escape.

Traveler: Hey... Wait! Come back here!

Skull: Huff... Puff... Damn... it... Give up already!

Traveler: Grr... If that's how you're gonna play it!

Skull: Whoooaa!

A shot rings out and a bullet sends up a spray of snow just shy of Skull's toes.

Skull trips on the shifting snow and goes flying.

He executes a full flip through the air and lands perfectly astride his dog's back.

Odd Mutt Out: Awooohhh!

Skull: Huh? Wha? Whaaat?

This unlikely accident seems to inspire the dog. He takes off running with Skull on his back.

Skull: Oh, I get it! If I'm on your back, you don't hafta slow down for me to keep up!

Skull: Now that's thinkin'! You're a genius!

In a flash, they've left the angry traveler behind and are dashing through the snowy fields without a care in the world.

Skull: You saved my bacon back there! I knew you had potential, pup!

Odd Mutt Out: Awoo-woo!

Skull: That settles it! From here on out, you're my partner! And your name is Skull Jr.!

Skull: The two of us together, buddy, are gonna be unstoppable! Yaaahaaa!

Skull Jr.: Aaawooohhh!

Skull: And there ya have it. So? Is this one class A canine, or what?

Lyria: Wow... You really worked your heart out to protect your owner, didn't you, Skull Jr.!

Skull: Right? Riiight? My dog is a genuine genius!

Skull: That story made me a little nostalgic. I wanna feel the wind on my face like that again!

Skull: Woo-hooo! C'mon, Skull Jr.! Let's go for a run!

Skull Jr.: Awoo! Awoo!

Skull: Let's go, let's go, let's gooo! Hi-yo, Husky! Awaaay!

Vyrn: Hey... Dontcha think you're goin' a little too fast? That's dangerous!

Skull: Hyahaaa! We're two creatures at one with the wind! Nothin' can stop us nooow!

Skull Jr.: Awooh!

Spurred on by his owner's excitement, Skull Jr. puts on an extra burst of speed.

Skull: Whoa, you're rarin' to go too, huh? Let's see just how fast we can run, Skull Jr.! Yaaa-ha-ha-haaa!

Just as man and mutt have reached the outer limits of canine speed, a shadow crosses their path.

Any version of Eustace is a crew member

---

Eustace: Finally found you, (Captain). There's something I want to—

Skull Jr.: Awoo-woo! Awooh!

Skull Jr. slams on the breaks as soon as he spots Eustace.

The pup skids to a halt, but a Skull in motion tends to stay in motion—and the mutt's rider goes sailing into the wild snowy yonder.

Skull: Hyahaa... Aah? Aaarrggh!

Skull: You can't just stop like thaaat!

Eustace: ...
What was that?

Skull Jr.: Awoo-woo!

Eustace: Oh, it's you.

Skull Jr.: Awoo!

Lyria: Oh, do you know Skull Jr., Eustace?

Eustace: Yeah. We met at a New Year's party.

Lyria: So that's why Skull Jr. looks so happy to see you.

Eustace: So, pup. Where's Skull?

Skull Jr.: Awoo? Awoo-woo! Awooohhh!

At Eustace's question, Skull Jr. seems to realize the weight of his owner is absent from his back. He begins to panic.

Skull Jr. raises a pair of soulful puppy eyes to gaze at (Captain), who sighs and turns to the crew.

1. We'd better go find him.

Choose: We'd better go find him.

Lyria: Of... of course. I'm worried about him too!

Eustace: Good grief... Don't let your owner's idiocy rub off on you, pooch.

Go to "Continue 1"

Skull Jr.: Yiiipe!

Startled by a large bug zooming across his path, Skull Jr. skids to an abrupt halt.

Unfortunately, a Skull in motion tends to stay in motion—and the mutt's rider goes sailing into the wild snowy yonder.

Skull: Hyahaa... Aah? Aaarrggh!

Skull: It was just a buuuggg!

(Captain) and the others gape, speechless, as Skull vanishes, leaving behind only that reproach.

Vyrn: Wow... You gotta admire his form. That was a ten-point takeoff for sure.

Skull Jr.: Awoo-woo! Awooh!

Skull Jr. recovers from the fright the bug gave him, only to realize that his owner's weight is absent from his back. He begins to panic.

Skull Jr. raises a pair of soulful puppy eyes to gaze at (Captain), who sighs and turns to the crew.

1. We'd better go find him.

Choose: We'd better go find him.

Vyrn: Sigh... Like master, like pet, I guess.

Continue 1

(Captain) and crew head out to search for Skull, reflecting on the mysterious similarities between masters and pets.